Tulips may seem common but we all know how they make us feel inside when we look at them. That sweet serenity and pleasure when you watch them gently sway in a sunlit, cool breeze - not common (It really happens. I was there. I felt it.) How can you not love these little dudes?
Tulips are bulbs though, and bulbs can be a bit of a mind fuck. So here are some tips about how to plant, take care of and enjoy your friends with two lips.
Two-lipped Tony loves the sun. He prefers a solid spring bake so find a good patch for his beach towel.
Some shelter is good. Tony has a spindly little body and a big ass noggin so he gets blown over and broken easily.
Moist, well drained soil with even water. Typical. Not a fan of soggy. Err on the side of alkaline if anything. Tony’s not an acid tripper.
How to Plant Tulip Bulbs 🌷
Plant from mid- to late fall – this is later than most bulbs but planting later can help with most of the crusty diseases Two-lipped Tony is prone to contract (more like Loose Lipped Tony).
Ditch any mouldy, scraggly looking bulbs. Or at least, don’t depend on them being the star of the show as they just might skip out and die instead.
Plant at least twice the bulb’s width apart and at a depth of two or three times the bulbs height. That’s confusing as fuck, right? Check this Thompson & Morgan scribble for a better idea.
Bulbs in theory should come back every year but that’s not always the case. Sometimes, Tony’s just done after one diva flower show.
To encourage him to give another display next year, you can dig up the bulbs after they flower, brush off the dirt and store in a dry cool place over winter. Replant them in the spring.
If that sounds painfully obnoxious and time consuming (yep) just buy some new bulbs when they go on sale every fall. They’re like, $4 for 10 Tony’s or some shit. Plant more tulips! Establish a Tony colony! It doesn’t sound like a terrible place to hang out.
Bouquet stuff 💐
Tulips are one of those magical flowers that will blossom in a vase. So pick a few Tonys when they’re just getting ready to bloom. They’ll last at least a week :)
***DO NOT EAT TULIPS.
-will make sick and barfy
Happy Spring, muthalickas!